A Letter to Yoga

Dear Yoga,

We reconnected recently during what I can only hope is a period of self improvement for me. You enticed me with a promise that you can center my mind, body and sprit like no one else can, whispering sweet words like "I can give you the muscle tone you've always dreamed of" and "find the balance and flexibility you never had in my arms." Oh Yoga, you had me. I wanted those things with every fiber of my poorly toned body. All my flabby soft bits cried out for your love. For a short blissful period of time I thought maybe what happened between us years ago was all in the past and we could move forward and have a lasting relationship full of good energy and relaxation and balance....

But Yoga, you BITCH. As I unrolled my brand new purple mat and tied my hair up, I was giddy with excitement. Soft music filled the room, the lights dimmed and I began to form my first pose. But then, something happened to me Yoga. Something terrible and unnatural.... It was a feeling I had forgotten I could feel. What was it Yoga? What was it that you did to me as I balanced and stretched and tried to keep up?

PAIN, Yoga. That is what I was feeling. How could you do this to me? At first I thought, It's me. I've gone and pulled a muscle and it's my fault. Yoga would never twist my body and cause such a cruel thing to happen. Yoga wants to make me a better, stronger and more centered person... right? Oh Yoga, how you had poor little me fooled. But I didn't pull a muscle did I? That pain should have been a warning. It was my body's way of crying out! Saying stop it Yoga! Stop doing this to me! What have I done to deserve being contorted and stretched beyond all human limits!?!

Yes Yoga, the honeymoon is over and our true colors have come out. I could say it's not you, it's me, but I just can't. Because it is you, Yoga. My mind, body and spirit are disappointed in what you have shaped me into. You didn't relax me or make me feel better, you made me MAD and SORE. I suppose we could meet each other halfway and try to resolve and strengthen our relationship, but I know you will not change. Even now I am sitting in a blob on the floor, too defeated to pull myself into my chair and type normally.... I can't even look at you Yoga. Once again, we must part ways. It's best for both of us I think. Perhaps in the future we will be able to form some sort of timid friendship, but for now ...

... don't call me.

love,

M