Celebrities never disappoint when it comes to bad ideas. A-list, B-list, DDD-list, it doesn't matter. Take Heidi Montag, for example. She has had more bad ideas than she's had faces and yet she is STILL AROUND, and she is STILL FAMOUS.
For now though, Heidi, you and your plastic melons are off the hook - because there is only one thing that could possibly be worse than a b-list celebrity with a bad idea.... and that is a has-been celebrity who has one. Siiiigh. I must discuss.
Back in the day, Elizabeth was a star in one of my favorite shows growing up, Saved By the Bell. She was goody-good Jessica Spano. Kinda nerdy, kinda neurotic, but overall a pretty benign character with decent values. I really remember two things about her: she got addicted to caffeine pills and was taller than all the boys in school.
So I guess after leaving the show she tried to break into film, because the next thing anybody can remember, she's grinding her ladyslipper all over well, everything and everyone in a little movie called Showgirls. Yikes. Bipolar career anyone? I'll take "ways to shed your squeaky clean image for $500, Alex".....
Fast forward to today. I'm sitting in my cubicle working very very hard and someone sends me a link to a news story about... ta-DA!!! Elizabeth Berkley. I made my surprised face. It looked like this:
So here is what the link said, from the AP, straight up:
"NEW YORK — Elizabeth Berkley is ready to take your question.
The actress will be writing "Ask Elizabeth," a "a self-esteem handbook for teen girls" based on questions she has been asked over the years.
G.P. Putnam's Sons Books for Young Readers announced Tuesday that it expects to release the book next spring. It's an imprint of Penguin Young Readers Group."
and from USA Today:
"Elizabeth Berkley, 37, wants to empower girls.
She will be writing Ask Elizabeth: Real Answers to Everything You Secretly Wanted to Ask About Love, Friends, Your Body…And Life in General...
... Elizabeth is also launching a monthly "Ask-Elizabeth" column on Oprah.com in April 2010."
Hmmmmmm. I don't know what to make of this. I had to think about it for a second:
Ok, this is a little much from someone who was so hell-bent on destroying her wholesome image with an NC-17 movie. It's a little like Kate Gosselin giving hair advice.
Things I really hope young girls aren't asking Elizabeth Berkley about:
How to act your way out of a paper bag (although the um, 'dancing' was very convincing)
Kissing Mario Lopez (ewwwwww)
How to cook a steak
Why PETA is a good idea
What the hell happened to Dustin Diamond
Is Mario Lopez's hair crunchy or greasy
Things it's probably ok to ask her about:
Kissing Mark-Paul Gossellar
How often to water a dress made of lettuce
What the hell happened to Lark Voorhies
Cubs or White Sox
I dunno. I'm just having trouble believing that much grounded advice can come in this package:
I suppose I may be wrong. Yeah, me and the guys at work laughed at the article today and made jokes about the racy scenes in Showgirls vs. self esteem, but the movie did come out way back in 1995. I have no idea what she's been up to since then, so part of me thinks maybe I've judged a little harshly.
Either way though, you need more than a vagina and name recognition to be able to give good advice to young girls. I'm sure she means well, but I'm still filing this under "bad idea."