Gummy-zilla

Oh, candy. Sweet, delicious, teeth-rotting sugary goodness. Chocolatey, peanut buttery, fruity or gummy.... I'm a fan. As a child I used to have dreams of visiting Willy Wonka's magical factory, or navigating the winding adventure that is Candyland....

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Sorry. has to wipe a little drool off my keyboard there.

ANYway, so in honor of this post-Halloween candy haze we all seem to be in this week, I would like to present to you the most epic candy products you can ever hope to lick, bite or chew. Ever. Ready?

Edible Gingerbread Playhouse by Dylan's Candy Bar

Ok, so every year Neiman-Marcus releases their Christmas Book, and it has a section of several over-the-top gift ideas for those who just have way too much money and not much sense. This 381 lb. gingerbread house is over 6 1/2' tall, and for the perfectly unreasonable price of $15,000, it can be yours.

Cadbury's Wispa Gold chocolate bar

To make a long story short, Cadbury discontinued their Wispa bar in 2003, but in 2009 released a special edition of Wispa Gold...covered in actual gold. It sold for $1626.73 and is the world's most expensive candy bar.

World's largest Gummy Bears

It's like somebody took this straight from my childhood fantasies. A Gummy Bear bigger than a football? It's enough to give Willy Wonka a raging.......... and it's the bargain of my list at only $29.95!

MarieBelle Chocolate Picnic Steamer Trunk

Two words: chocolate picnic. Be still my sugar coated heart! This magnificent trunk full of decadent sin contains 500 pieces of chocolate ganache, five pounds of chocolate bark and croquettes, 80 ounces of Aztec hot chocolate, 8 ounces or Aztec Hot Chocolate Bars, 20 ounces Aztec Iced Chocolate, a journal bound in leather, a teapot, an infuser, and a small library of books about chocolate.

And to get it, not only do you have to visit the New York store in person, you have to pay the $15,000 price tag in cash.

That's right. In the words of Randy Moss, "I don't cut checks. Straight cash homey."

Chocopologie by Knipschildt

Ok I love chocolate, but I don't know if even my palette is discerning enough to be able to tell when a piece is worth $250.

That's right. Just. One. Truffle.

These little guys are handmade by blind albino elfin monks in the Hallelujah Mountains on Pandora...

...or not. Trust me, it's way less exciting than all that. They are handmade, but by regular people. In Connecticut, which is not nearly as cool as floating mountains, or mountains of any kind. The truffle is 70% Valrhona cocoa powder rolled over French Black truffle... and cost a whopping $2,600 a pound.

Sigh. I need to get myself a sugar daddy.... literally. Because that's the only way I'll ever get to try any of this....