Friday, December 18, 2009

The wow factor


If I have learned anything from watching that VH1 show "Tough Love" it is this: men judge women by their wow factor, which does not, apparently, mean looks. In fact, the show has been explicitly clear that a man will notice a talented, smart and funny woman over one who looks like Heidi Klum.


HA.


I'm sorry, give me a second to compose myself here.


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Ok, ok. I know most men are not so shallow that they can go on looks alone. But as far as initial attraction? From what I know, men are WAY more visual than women. No, I'm not talking short skirts or boobie-bearing tops, but I don't think a man is going to approach a woman unless he likes the way she looks. Likewise, a woman is not going to respond to that man unless she likes what she sees AND hears. The show went on to illustrate in it's scripted, trite way that a man will respond to something non-visual that sets a hot woman apart from the others, called the "wow factor".


Hmmmm, ok I'll bite. I think the general idea is that your looks will reel him in, but won't keep him around. There has to be something unique there, a woman has to stand out. I mean, strippers are usually hot, but men for the most part don't want to date them because the only wow factor they assume they have is looks and well, flexibility - because of what they do for a living, they don't really have any perceived personality.


Ok so I think I'm gonna have to test this, and see if it works. Wow factors? Think I'll make another of my fantastic lists. Be prepared to be impressed:


• I am willing to rap at karaoke night

• I can run, hop, skip and jump in six inch heels

• I can moonwalk in six inch heels (this one deserved its own bullet point)

• I know more about sports than the average guy, and could probably school him in fantasy football

• I can drive a stick shift

• I have never had sex with Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton, Kobe Bryant, anyone from a VH1 reality show or any U.S. Senator

• I can bake like Martha Stewart

• I'm a huge fan of trivia and know a lot of useless factoids

• I paint

• I'm a huge music fan - my interests are all over the board, from Rachmaninoff to Zepplin to Jay-Z ...


Well, looking at this list, I'm not sure how to work all these things in when trying to impress someone. I guess I could wear a t-shirt that says them all, but then I would just assume the guy is staring at my gazoongas (and he very well could be, I have nice ones). A list of crap that I happen to do well isn't going to impress anybody is it? So what to do?!?


I had to use a couple of lifelines on this one - I asked a few guys what makes THEM go up to a girl in a bar, and then what keeps them interested. Well several of my guy friends did tell me that approaching a difficult thing to do - there has to be something about her that makes her approachable in addition to what she looks like. My friend Richard told me back in his single days, if a girl looked like she was laid back and having a good time, he'd be more likely to strike up a conversation. Chris told me something that initially attracts him is a cute face, but if she isn't able to keep up an intelligent conversation he'll walk away. As far as a wow factor? I don't think a girl needs to brag, or demonstrate some off-the-wall skill or talent. I really think all you have to do once a guy decides to approach and strike up a conversation is to relax and not act like a ditzy idiot. There is nothing worse than an intelligent girl who thinks it's cute to act like she's dumb as a rock. The common thread when I asked my guy friends what they think is this: a girl has to be confident, laid back, and comfortable in her own skin no matter what - and that's what will keep them around. So yeah, it starts off with visual attraction 9 times out of 10, but has to be so much more than that to last, unless you are Spencer and Heidi.


So ladies, I say just do you - and someone will like you for it, and want to stick around to find out more. This really isn't something you necessarily need to learn from a VH1 reality show, but if it points us single girls in the right direction (that direction being toward Mr. Right) then so be it.

1 comment:

  1. i have to say that i love watching this show. mostly for the comedic value. i do wonder how a girl could even go on this show and say she doesn't know the basic rules that steve teaches. most of it is just being confident and treating people with respect. who new?

    i found that what worked best with josh was acting like i was totally into him until he got a little freaked out and then ignoring him. i think in some weird way he found that intriguing.

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