Chickflickitis

I make it no secret that relationships aren't my strong suit. In fact, most of my boyfriends have been a disaster. When I think about dating, my instincts lean towards nerves and anxiety, rather than the fairy tale. It's easier to see reasons why something won't work out than reasons why it will. I tend to find excuses to break things off with really great guys, instead of working out something that could be really good. Why? Because I've recently realized that somewhere along the line I decided that I'd be alone forever.

Well folks, since I've identified that sneaky little decision my brain made (without my permission mind you), things are gonna change. I have a reason for things to change.

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"Wouldn't it be lovely if we were old? We'd have survived all this. Everything would be easy and uncomplicated; the way it was when we were young."

-The Way We Were

In many ways, movies tell it right. Yeah I said it...

Ok ok, I'll admit it isn't a perfect comparison - I mean, you've got to keep a movie within some sort of time constraint, so there's a lot that gets left out, but isn't every meeting a chance meeting? You have attraction, chemistry, etc etc until a relationship is formed, then there is some sort of obstacle that must be overcome, against the odds. It's the quintessential lovey-dovey chick flick formula.

But how far off is it really?

"Life is full of interruptions and complications."

-Love Actually

People in movies take chances because it's in the script. If they didn't end up together at the end, the audience would be pissed. So when you go into one of these chick flick type movies you expect the formula, and you expect it to work out.... am I right? You WANT it to work out.

I realize that real life is infinitely harder and the stakes are much, much higher, but the general idea is the same. Every couple has a story about how they met. Every pair of people on the entire planet met by chance at some point, and those couples who stay together do it against the odds. Nothing begins on purpose, right?

"I want the fairy tale."

"So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her?"
"She rescues him right back."

-Pretty Woman

Someone said to me recently that sometimes a little cheese is appropriate. I think so too, so from now on I'm going to focus less on seeing obstacles and more on seeing the magic... because magic is something I will work for.

I don't think it's out of the question to want the fairy tale ... but I do think it's unreasonable to expect it to be easy to keep once you find it.

"Couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something."

-Dr. Cox from 'Scrubs' (I know, not from a chick flick but I like that quote and it's relevant)

I know from experience that it is easy to fall in love, but hard to stay there. It takes a lot of effort and time and compromise and reciprocity. It takes WORK.

"If somebody doesn't believe in me, I can't believe in them."

-Pretty in Pink

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Movies are easy and life is hard.... but you have to ask yourself, which is more worthwhile? A relationship you can live through vicariously for 2 hours, or one that with a little effort, you can have for the rest of your life? I know what I will pick, given the chance....

Beginning, here I come.