Family holidays are a minefield

(part 1 of several parts because I'm just gonna keep doing them until I get bored with it)

OK so I need to preface this by saying I don't hate holidays. Any of them. Family holidays though, like Christmas, can be tough…ESPECIALLY if you're the family member with the weird color streaks in your hair and extra piercings. My family doesn't drink, swear, or stay single past 25. I guess I missed the memo.

They don't get me, but to their credit (I suppose) they try. Mostly though, that means they just hammer me with the same 5 questions over and over for a couple of days until I'm ready to either murder someone or come home.

My next blogposts offer nothing that's gonna change your life unless you really want to commiserate. It's just a lame question I'm stick of getting asked and how I'd respond to it if I could be honest with my family without making them cry. 

Here's the first question I'll inevitably get asked this year:

How's your love life?

The dreaded question my grandmother always asks me. The easy answer is "non existent"…of course then I have to face the look she gives me, like I've failed her or kicked a puppy. It's a true answer I guess, but too soft I think, for me. It would probably be the worst idea ever for me to look my grandma in the eyes and say "grandma, I'm an asshole. I'm an imperfect, snarky, train wreck. I frequently rocket between dancing and crying for no apparent reason. All I need is another imperfect, snarky asshole who accepts me for the mess that I am and can deal with my numerous flaws. So far, I haven't found him."

But it sucks to disappoint grandma. It feels like she's asking me "are you going to find someone to settle down with before I die?" I mean, no pressure or anything. In a lot of ways, I get it. By my age, my grandma had been married for years and had two children. So had almost all of her peers. My grandma had an unhappy marriage, but she stuck with him and worked to support a family and be a wife and mother. It's admirable and sad at the same time. Back then, people valued each other. It was a generation of gender roles and loyalty. People who got married stayed married. Now, it's completely different. Things like gender inequality are going away, but so is loyalty.

Harsh but true. People are dicks. Every last one of us.