Is that a raincoat?

Yes it is! An this is a blog post about my favorite serial killer movies.

I make it no secret that I love monsters. Love love love them. Mostly when you think of monsters, you think of things like vampires and werewolves and zombies, oh my! But if you really get down to it, even if you are watching a really really well done, scare-your-socks-off monster flick, there's always going to be a part of you that doesn't believe it.

A good movie about a serial killer, however, will have you double checking your locks before you go to bed. In fact I'm gonna go check mine right now...

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Ok I'm back. Now I'm a true believer that even though these movies are really messed up, in a way they appeal to that little bit of darkness that's in us all. It's a way to let go and get our blood pumping. Serial killers are monsters in human form - the scariest kind, because that means the incredible gruesome and evil acts they perform on their fellow man could be something any of us could potentially be capable of. We all have a little bit of monster in us.

"I know my behavior can be... 'erratic' sometimes."

-Patrick Bateman

Ok, so as I was making my list (gonna go with a list of 7... seems appropriate) I was thinking of a lot of movies that I wasn't sure were actual serial killer movies. I mean, I think I know what makes a serial killer, but just to help myself out I looked up the legal definition.

"Serial killer is a term describing a type of killer who kills a number of people over a long period of time. They are generally male and motivated by a variety of psychological urges, primarily power. The United States Bureau of Justice Statistics defines a serial killing as: '[involving] the killing of several victims in three or more separate events.' They are distinguished from spree killers in that they have rest periods between killings."

Hmmm. So it's three or more separate killings, with the ultimate goal of some sort of sick psychological gratification? I can work with this.

"I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip."

-Patrick Bateman

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So here is my list of 7 serial killer movies. Be sure to enjoy it with farva beans and a nice chianti. Now, the list has holes in it, but that's because there are several I have not seen. These are MY favorites, and in case you haven't guessed by now #1 is:

1. AMERICAN PSYCHO (2000)

"Harold, it's Bateman, Patrick Bateman. You're my lawyer so I think you should know: I've killed a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown uh, some homeless people maybe 5 or 10 um an NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and some man uh some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away and uh someone else there I can't remember maybe a model, but she's dead too. And Paul Allen. I killed Paul Allen with an axe in the face, his body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've killed maybe 20 people, maybe 40. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even, um... I ate some of their brains, and I tried to cook a little. Tonight I, uh, I just had to kill a LOT of people. And I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it this time. I guess I'll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh, I mean I guess I'm a pretty sick guy. So, if you get back tomorrow, I may show up at Harry's Bar, so you know, keep your eyes open."

SO many reasons to see this movie.... is it Patrick Bateman's cold, remorseless assessment of his own mind and actions? Is it the grisly yet ludicrous murder scenes, punctuated by cheesy pop tunes from the 80s and 90s? It's bizarre to be sure. Patrick Bateman (played by Christian Bale) is a shallow, materialistic, narcissistic man who shows nothing but distain and jealousy toward everyone around him. The things that are important to him are status and image, but even those things don't make him happy. The movie is strangely entertaining and has a certain messed up charm that will keep you almost rooting for Bateman. Almost. Well, no, no you don't.... but you do get to see him chase a girl down a hallway with a chainsaw...

"There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there."

2. SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991)

Hannibal Lecter: "Why do you think he removes their skins, Agent Starling?"

Hannibal Lecter: "Enthrall me with your acumen."

Clarice Starling: "It excites him. Most serial killers keep some sort of trophies from their victims."

Hannibal Lecter: "I didn't."

Clarice Starling: "No. No, you ate yours."

So the question is this: is the greater serial killer Buffalo Bill or Hannibal Lecter? Though he's behind bars for a string of murders and cannibalistic acts, Lecter really comes off almost as one of the good guys in this film. In fact, you kind of end up rooting for him towards the end even though the escape sequence reminds you of the nature of the monster that he truly is. Bill, however, is a stunningly psychotic madman - a former patient of Lecter's, slowly constructing an androgynous bodysuit from the skin of his victims. So we end up with one serial killer the villain and the other a hero. It's so fucked up yet so ingenious, all at the same time.

3. SE7EN (1995)

"If we catch John Doe and he turns out to be the devil, I mean if he's Satan himself, that might live up to our expectations, but he's not the devil. He's just a man."

This may be the most brilliantly crafted movie on my list. The idea of a killer planning and executing murders based on the seven deadly sins is both compelling and disturbing at the same time. Further, though this killer is one of the strongest and most intelligent on the list, you don't meet him until the last minutes of the movie, which play out in a sick, deadly dance per his design. He also may be the most believable killer on my list, his divine motives lead him to making his grisly murders serve as examples to the world.

4. NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN (2007)

"What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?"

Despite his Dora the Explorer haircut, Anton Chigurh (played by Javier Bardem) is a chilling character. I've never had a movie move at such a slow, deliberate pace yet make my heart jump with every sound and every word. I was on the edge of my seat even when nothing was happening for minutes at a time. Anton is using money in a briefcase as an excuse to kill, but not the reason for the killing. He plods through the movie, expressionless and nonchalant, killing people who either get in his way or who he simply doesn't want around anymore. The remorseless nature of his portrayal of Anton earned Javier Bardem the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in 2008.

5. PSYCHO (1960)

Norman Bates: "You know what I think? I think that we're all in our private traps, clamped in them, and none of us can ever get out. We scratch and we claw, but only at the air, only at each other, and for all of it, we never budge an inch."

Marion Crane: "Sometimes, we deliberately step into those traps."

Norman Bates: "I was born into mine. I don't mind it anymore."

Marion Crane: "Oh, but you should. You should mind it."

Norman Bates: "Oh, I do" [laughs]

Norman Bates: "but I say I don't."

This one is kind of a no-brainer for my list. It's based on Wisconsin serial killer Ed Gein (as is Buffalo Bill in #2 Silence of the Lambs and Leatherface in Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is on my "best of the rest" list at the bottom) and is most famous for its shower scene, which in many ways set the tone for almost every serial killer movie made after it. Norman Bates seems outwardly normal but is actually a disturbed and perverse character. He runs a motel and battles multiple personalities and deranged relationship with his mother that leads him to kill anyone who he sees as a threat to her wishes. Hitchcock really shows his mastery of suspense through implied violence and storytelling that simply cannot be matched.

6. SAW (2004)

"Hello, Paul. You are a perfectly healthy, sane and middle-class male yet last month you ran a straight razor across your wrist. Did you cut yourself because you truly wanted to die or did you just want some attention? Tonight, you'll show me. The irony is that if you want to die you just have to stay where you are, but if you want to live, you'll have to cut yourself again. Find the path through the razor-wire to the door but hurry. At 3:00 that door will lock and then, this room becomes your tomb. How much blood will you shed to stay alive?"

Now, you can argue that Jigsaw is not a true serial killer and that he wants to see if his victims have the will to survive, but come on... this movie has too high of a body count for that to be the case. The deaths are planned and calculated, and Jigsaw does not show any emotion either way. I wouldn't bother with any of the other Saw movies, but this one is completely revolutionary and brilliant, and has on of the best climax sequences I've ever seen.

7. SIN CITY (2005)

"This is blood for blood and by the gallon. These are the old days, the bad days, the all-or-nothing days. Theyre back! There's no choice left. And I'm ready for war."

Ok, so it's just a part of the movie, but Kevin played by Elijah Wood is about as disgusting a serial killer villain as you can get. Guilty of both murder and cannibalism, he is able to get away with virtually anything he pleases. Free for years, mostly killing prostitutes including the girlfriend of Mickey Rourke's character Marv. Marv ultimately serves justice by giving Kevin a fitting punishment for his crimes. Kevin ends up tied to a tree, arms and legs amputated, fully awake with an eerily serene smile on his face while the very wolves he had been feeding scraps of his victims to slowly eat him alive. It's creepy as hell.

Movies I couldn't bear not to mention (in no particular order):

• 1 Hour Photo

• Scream

• Texas Chainsaw Massacre

• Kiss the Girls

• Death Proof

• Halloween

• From Hell

• Hot Fuzz

I know there are a few I'm missing here. Zodiac, Monster, Mr. Brooks and Frailty are all on my list to see.

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Now I'm gonna go check those locks again....