Merchandising, Legos and carbonite

Those of you who know me have realized by now that I'm a little bit of a nerd. I mean, when my yoga instructor misquoted Yoda the other day I corrected him (and was met with snickers instead of thanks, by the way).

Before the Star Wars franchise was prostituted by George Lucas in 1999 and turned into a cheap cartoonish shell of its former greatness, it represented some of the best movie-watching memories of my childhood. I'm sure (or at least I'm hoping) that many of you can relate.

Remember Han Solo? Of course you do, because he was awesome. On a scale of 1 to Indiana Jones Han solo was a 9.7, and quite possibly my first crush ever. So...

....I gotta admit, when Han Solo was frozen in carbonite, I was very upset. The scene moved me to my very core and thank goodness Leia rescued him, because I just don't know how I would have recovered and moved on with my life.

Sigh. Good times.

So today I was doing some online browsing on a couple of blogs and sites I follow, and found something truly special and brilliant:

Yes, that's exactly what you think it is. A Han Solo frozen-in-carbonite Lego Minifigure. I literally did three backflips out of sheer joy.....ok well I don't actually have the physical ability to do a backflip, but you get the idea. How wonderful to have such an important piece of cinematic pop culture immortalized by the greatest toy on Earth, a Lego! Tremendous.

It actually brought back a memory of something I'd been shown a while ago, and a little Google image search produced this:

That's right. Some guy made a life-sized model of Han Solo in carbonite out of Legos. Be impressed. Be very impressed.

SO....

I wondered what else is out there? Who else has used Han's chilly metallic fate to make a few bucks off Star Wars junkies like myself? So of course I did a little more Googling, and came up with the top 10 Han Solo frozen in carbonite merchandise available on the internet to anyone with a sense of humor and a PayPal account. I've already showed the Lego Minifigure, but here are the other 9:

#9

Han Solo Pop t-shirt

Because it's clever and funny and the only thing on my list that isn't gray.

#8

Han Solo throw blanket

Yes, it's ironic.

#7

Han Solo USB

Because they're making anything into a USB stick these days.

#6

Carbonite soap

In case you would like to clean yourself with a piece of movie greatness.

#5

Han Solo In carbonite swiveling bookshelf

A must-have for Star Wars collectible collectors. One side is a bookshelf for all your Star Wars memorabilia, and the other side is a life-sized block of shiny frozen greatness. See it in action here.

#4

Chocolate mold

Similar to the soap, but you can eat it so it's ranked higher.

#3

Han Solo cup

get it?

#2

Han Solo Adidas SL-72 sneakers

For the trendy geek. You may think this is a little much, until you see....

#1

Han Solo frozen in carbonite desk.

Some things just don't need to be commented on.

The multi-Milla fantasy

Resident Evil Afterlife came out this weekend. The very thought of my ass-kicking girl crush Alice serving justice to the Umbrella Corporation makes my heart beat faster...

Oh yeah. I've been waiting for this movie.

Remember how the last one ended? with a dramatic return to the laser death room, a mutant monster villain and an army of Alice clones? Siiiigh..... you really don't have to be a genius to figure out what happens next. It doesn't matter though. I don't love these movies because they're actually good movies. I love them because they're the ultimate guilty pleasure flicks for a zombie junkie like myself. You don't have to think, you just sit back and watch monsters and bad guys get their asses royally kicked by my girl. Bonus points for this installment bringing in super delicious Wentworth Miller.

There is no way I'm not gonna like this movie.

I wonder though, if James Cameron had the testicular fortitude to make any nasty comments about Afterlife like he did Piranha 3-D?

------

So I'm a HUGE fan of zombie films, and since I've been on a horror movie kick with my blogging I feel like it's appropriate to give my flesh-craving buddies a little shout-out. I haven't seen the new Resident Evil because I promised I'd wait and see it with my boyfriend, so I've put together a little zombie movie appetizer combo while I wait. Believe me, there is nothing like a nice little snack to whet your appetite before the main course.

Ok, so out of all my favorite zombie flicks, here are five I think you should probably watch to prepare your palate. Bear in mind that these may not be the "best" zombie movies I've ever seen, just the most fun. Enjoy:

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Zombie movies were relatively bloodless before this one, which was completely revolutionary to the genre. This is the type of vision and creativity George Romero is capable of, and it's sad that his recent attempts at zombie flicks haven't even come close to making an impact on viewers that this one made. It was the first time in movie history that zombies were shown as scary, violent monsters - driven by a lust for flesh and not much else. It's cleverly written, well acted and delightfully gratuitous. I love this movie.

Planet Terror (2007)

There are lots of reasons I'd like to give Robert Rodriguez a big ole bear hug, and this movie is one of them. You want over-the-top comic book style action? You got it. You want a hot girl with a machine gun leg? You got it! You wanna see some gratuitously disgusting things happen to Quentin Tarantino? Watch this friggin movie. Do it.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

This has the perfect balance of humor, human survival and realistic walking dead. Even though I'm convinced any fan of zombie films will love it, it's also a perfect movie for newbies to cut their teeth on. It's true to the genre, and funny without being too goofy. Also, who wouldn't want to hole up in a bar to wait for rescue? It makes perfect sense.

Zombieland (2009)

It came out a year ago and I've already seen it dozens of times. Dozens. There are very few movies that give me this much joy time and time again, but lemme tell you this one does. It's clever and witty and has just the right balance of humor and action... plus some of the ways zombies meet their end (hel-lo banjo to the face!) make me so happy I can't see straight. I won't spoil one of the greatest surprises, but there is a cameo that made me cheer out loud. I think even folks who aren't even fans of zombie movies will appreciate this one. It's America's answer to Shaun of the Dead... your move, Simon Pegg....

Resident Evil (2002)

Sigh. Of COURSE this made my top 5. It's a guilty pleasure for sure, but I'm a huge fan of Resident Evil movies and I'm not ashamed to say it. I enjoy the hell out of them. You may not know this, but the original script was written by George Romero, but was rejected and that's how Paul WS Anderson got the gig. I hate to betray the genre by saying it, but I feel like a Romero version of this movie would have destroyed the lightness that I enjoy so much. It's got a fun cast, slick action and even a decent plotline, especially for a movie based on a video game. I've seen the first three more times than I can count, and (as you know by now, duh) can't wait to see the latest!

------

Also check out:

28 Days Later (2002)

The only reason this movie didn't make my top 5 is that it isn't a true zombie movie. The "zombies" in this flick aren't reanimated corpses, they're humans infected by a virus. That said though, it's probably the scariest movie on my list, excepting maybe Dawn of the Dead, because it's the most convincing and plausible. Check it out, but don't watch it alone.

FIdo (2007)

Here's a new twist on an old story: after a zombie outbreak, a company finds a way to domesticate the undead and use them as servants or pets via a collar-type device. Set in 1950s suburbia, it's an odd mix of humor and social commentary...and believe it or not it leaves you feeling both peaceful and a little disturbed at the same time. Like the tagline on the poster says, "Good dead are hard to find". Sigh... it's so true...

Zombi 2 (or 'Zombie', 1979)

This movie is a fairly cut-and-paste zombie flick with few surprises. Two things though, got it on my list. Would you like to see the most disgusting slow-motion eye-gauging scene EVER? You can get that here. Howabout a zombie attacking a shark underwater? Friggin awesome. There's also a great scene of the dead rising from the earth that puts Michael Jackson's Thriller to shame. Yeah I said it....quit being so effing sensitive. That said though, I also hope you like latex and red food coloring because the gore (with few exceptions) is pretty cheesetastic.

Dead Alive (or 'Braindead', 1992)

Oh Peter Jackson, there are so many reasons to love you. Dead Alive is one of those reasons. This has got to be one of the most fun zombie movies ever made. Kung Fu priest? check. Lawnmower used as a zombie-chopping blender? check. Zombie baby wreaking havoc on the playground? check.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Two words: fast zombies. I'm a big fan of the 1978 original version of this movie, but a budget and a few new ideas (hel-lo zombie baby!) just make it completely awesome. In fact, aside from it's shopping mall setting, it's a very different movie than the original. This may be the best zombie flick in existence, and if you haven't seen it, you need to. Call me up, I'll hold your hand during the scary parts.

Day of the Dead (1985)

I know this isn't considered one of Romero's "masterpieces" because it was significantly less scary than its predecessors, Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead. It did have, however, a lot more heart in that it touched on what makes zombies tick, and that the walking dead were once human and some are still capable of holding on to part of their humanity. It goes a little deeper, but still has all that gore and violence and flesh-craving goodness we love in our undead.

Is that a raincoat?

Yes it is! An this is a blog post about my favorite serial killer movies.

I make it no secret that I love monsters. Love love love them. Mostly when you think of monsters, you think of things like vampires and werewolves and zombies, oh my! But if you really get down to it, even if you are watching a really really well done, scare-your-socks-off monster flick, there's always going to be a part of you that doesn't believe it.

A good movie about a serial killer, however, will have you double checking your locks before you go to bed. In fact I'm gonna go check mine right now...

...

Ok I'm back. Now I'm a true believer that even though these movies are really messed up, in a way they appeal to that little bit of darkness that's in us all. It's a way to let go and get our blood pumping. Serial killers are monsters in human form - the scariest kind, because that means the incredible gruesome and evil acts they perform on their fellow man could be something any of us could potentially be capable of. We all have a little bit of monster in us.

"I know my behavior can be... 'erratic' sometimes."

-Patrick Bateman

Ok, so as I was making my list (gonna go with a list of 7... seems appropriate) I was thinking of a lot of movies that I wasn't sure were actual serial killer movies. I mean, I think I know what makes a serial killer, but just to help myself out I looked up the legal definition.

"Serial killer is a term describing a type of killer who kills a number of people over a long period of time. They are generally male and motivated by a variety of psychological urges, primarily power. The United States Bureau of Justice Statistics defines a serial killing as: '[involving] the killing of several victims in three or more separate events.' They are distinguished from spree killers in that they have rest periods between killings."

Hmmm. So it's three or more separate killings, with the ultimate goal of some sort of sick psychological gratification? I can work with this.

"I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip."

-Patrick Bateman

-----

So here is my list of 7 serial killer movies. Be sure to enjoy it with farva beans and a nice chianti. Now, the list has holes in it, but that's because there are several I have not seen. These are MY favorites, and in case you haven't guessed by now #1 is:

1. AMERICAN PSYCHO (2000)

"Harold, it's Bateman, Patrick Bateman. You're my lawyer so I think you should know: I've killed a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown uh, some homeless people maybe 5 or 10 um an NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and some man uh some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away and uh someone else there I can't remember maybe a model, but she's dead too. And Paul Allen. I killed Paul Allen with an axe in the face, his body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've killed maybe 20 people, maybe 40. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even, um... I ate some of their brains, and I tried to cook a little. Tonight I, uh, I just had to kill a LOT of people. And I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it this time. I guess I'll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh, I mean I guess I'm a pretty sick guy. So, if you get back tomorrow, I may show up at Harry's Bar, so you know, keep your eyes open."

SO many reasons to see this movie.... is it Patrick Bateman's cold, remorseless assessment of his own mind and actions? Is it the grisly yet ludicrous murder scenes, punctuated by cheesy pop tunes from the 80s and 90s? It's bizarre to be sure. Patrick Bateman (played by Christian Bale) is a shallow, materialistic, narcissistic man who shows nothing but distain and jealousy toward everyone around him. The things that are important to him are status and image, but even those things don't make him happy. The movie is strangely entertaining and has a certain messed up charm that will keep you almost rooting for Bateman. Almost. Well, no, no you don't.... but you do get to see him chase a girl down a hallway with a chainsaw...

"There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there."

2. SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991)

Hannibal Lecter: "Why do you think he removes their skins, Agent Starling?"

Hannibal Lecter: "Enthrall me with your acumen."

Clarice Starling: "It excites him. Most serial killers keep some sort of trophies from their victims."

Hannibal Lecter: "I didn't."

Clarice Starling: "No. No, you ate yours."

So the question is this: is the greater serial killer Buffalo Bill or Hannibal Lecter? Though he's behind bars for a string of murders and cannibalistic acts, Lecter really comes off almost as one of the good guys in this film. In fact, you kind of end up rooting for him towards the end even though the escape sequence reminds you of the nature of the monster that he truly is. Bill, however, is a stunningly psychotic madman - a former patient of Lecter's, slowly constructing an androgynous bodysuit from the skin of his victims. So we end up with one serial killer the villain and the other a hero. It's so fucked up yet so ingenious, all at the same time.

3. SE7EN (1995)

"If we catch John Doe and he turns out to be the devil, I mean if he's Satan himself, that might live up to our expectations, but he's not the devil. He's just a man."

This may be the most brilliantly crafted movie on my list. The idea of a killer planning and executing murders based on the seven deadly sins is both compelling and disturbing at the same time. Further, though this killer is one of the strongest and most intelligent on the list, you don't meet him until the last minutes of the movie, which play out in a sick, deadly dance per his design. He also may be the most believable killer on my list, his divine motives lead him to making his grisly murders serve as examples to the world.

4. NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN (2007)

"What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?"

Despite his Dora the Explorer haircut, Anton Chigurh (played by Javier Bardem) is a chilling character. I've never had a movie move at such a slow, deliberate pace yet make my heart jump with every sound and every word. I was on the edge of my seat even when nothing was happening for minutes at a time. Anton is using money in a briefcase as an excuse to kill, but not the reason for the killing. He plods through the movie, expressionless and nonchalant, killing people who either get in his way or who he simply doesn't want around anymore. The remorseless nature of his portrayal of Anton earned Javier Bardem the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in 2008.

5. PSYCHO (1960)

Norman Bates: "You know what I think? I think that we're all in our private traps, clamped in them, and none of us can ever get out. We scratch and we claw, but only at the air, only at each other, and for all of it, we never budge an inch."

Marion Crane: "Sometimes, we deliberately step into those traps."

Norman Bates: "I was born into mine. I don't mind it anymore."

Marion Crane: "Oh, but you should. You should mind it."

Norman Bates: "Oh, I do" [laughs]

Norman Bates: "but I say I don't."

This one is kind of a no-brainer for my list. It's based on Wisconsin serial killer Ed Gein (as is Buffalo Bill in #2 Silence of the Lambs and Leatherface in Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is on my "best of the rest" list at the bottom) and is most famous for its shower scene, which in many ways set the tone for almost every serial killer movie made after it. Norman Bates seems outwardly normal but is actually a disturbed and perverse character. He runs a motel and battles multiple personalities and deranged relationship with his mother that leads him to kill anyone who he sees as a threat to her wishes. Hitchcock really shows his mastery of suspense through implied violence and storytelling that simply cannot be matched.

6. SAW (2004)

"Hello, Paul. You are a perfectly healthy, sane and middle-class male yet last month you ran a straight razor across your wrist. Did you cut yourself because you truly wanted to die or did you just want some attention? Tonight, you'll show me. The irony is that if you want to die you just have to stay where you are, but if you want to live, you'll have to cut yourself again. Find the path through the razor-wire to the door but hurry. At 3:00 that door will lock and then, this room becomes your tomb. How much blood will you shed to stay alive?"

Now, you can argue that Jigsaw is not a true serial killer and that he wants to see if his victims have the will to survive, but come on... this movie has too high of a body count for that to be the case. The deaths are planned and calculated, and Jigsaw does not show any emotion either way. I wouldn't bother with any of the other Saw movies, but this one is completely revolutionary and brilliant, and has on of the best climax sequences I've ever seen.

7. SIN CITY (2005)

"This is blood for blood and by the gallon. These are the old days, the bad days, the all-or-nothing days. Theyre back! There's no choice left. And I'm ready for war."

Ok, so it's just a part of the movie, but Kevin played by Elijah Wood is about as disgusting a serial killer villain as you can get. Guilty of both murder and cannibalism, he is able to get away with virtually anything he pleases. Free for years, mostly killing prostitutes including the girlfriend of Mickey Rourke's character Marv. Marv ultimately serves justice by giving Kevin a fitting punishment for his crimes. Kevin ends up tied to a tree, arms and legs amputated, fully awake with an eerily serene smile on his face while the very wolves he had been feeding scraps of his victims to slowly eat him alive. It's creepy as hell.

Movies I couldn't bear not to mention (in no particular order):

• 1 Hour Photo

• Scream

• Texas Chainsaw Massacre

• Kiss the Girls

• Death Proof

• Halloween

• From Hell

• Hot Fuzz

I know there are a few I'm missing here. Zodiac, Monster, Mr. Brooks and Frailty are all on my list to see.

-----

Now I'm gonna go check those locks again....

I killed a spider with it

I had a nice day today. I went to a friend's house, had a retro movie marathon, cooked, hung out, drank a little... it was a truly great day. I came home tonight, however, to find something sitting at my door that in many ways fits with the retro theme of my day, but made me way less happy.

Phone books.

Seriously? I'd rather find a flaming bag of poo on my doorstep. At least when I throw that out I don't feel bad for wasting resources.

Phone books USED to be useful. You know, back before the 90s and the invention of internet searches. Most people I know can find more phone listings ON THEIR PHONES than can be found in a phone book, and if they're searching a business, they can even find more information than a number and an address. Directions perhaps? Star ratings? Customer reviews? And all without wasting 5 pounds of tree matter, getting gray smudges all over your fingers or going blind searching through thousands of 7-point-type listings.

Grrr.

In my professional opinion, phone books are good for one thing only: Killing spiders.

Of course, there are probably a lot of other things near all of us right at this moment that can smash the crap out of one of those little 8-legged monsters AND have other uses as well.

So bad news phone books - your day is over. I just wonder how many more innocent trees are gonna have to sacrifice their lives, just to get tossed in the trash (or if they're lucky enough to go to a "green" home, the recycling bin) before somebody puts a stop to phone book production.

I think I'll Google the number of the phone book company and complain. Obviously they haven't gotten the memo that they have become completely irrelevant. HA! Oh well, at least I got a free magnet.

Blue people vs. Killer fishes

James Cameron thinks he's the king of the world. Yes he's made some marvelous films, like Terminator I & II, Aliens, and recently Avatar (some would say Titanic, but I won't because I hated that ridiculously long over-glorified piece of crap movie), but I'm afraid I still can't give him the props as a "visionary" that he seems to think he deserves.

Actually, I think he's kind of a bitch.

Let's talk about Avatar, shall we? I loved it. In fact, I saw it twice in theaters which is unheard of for me. The 3-D movie experience when it comes to a really visually stunning movie is unique and exciting, and Avatar was one movie that really dazzled. The story however, was just ok. It was mind popcorn, at best. Does Cameron know this? No, I don't think he does.

So there's another movie in theaters right now. Another big fancy 3-D cinematic experience ready to blow my mind all to bits....

... Piranha 3-D.

Can I get a HELL YEAH? Unlike Avatar, this movie knows what it is. No one is taking it seriously. Piranha 3-D doesn't take Piranha 3-D seriously.

But because he's a narcissistic stick in the mud who likes to hear himself talk, James Cameron had some nasty things to say about the cheesetastic moviegasm that is Piranha 3-D.

Could it be sour grapes? I mean, Cameron was fired off Piranha 2.... and I have to wonder how high the bar of cinematic excellence was set for Pirhana 2. In a Vanity Fair interview, Cameron was quotes as saying:

"I tend almost never to throw other films under the bus, but that is exactly an example of what we should not be doing in 3-D. Because it just cheapens the medium and reminds you of the bad 3-D horror films from the 70s and 80s, like Friday the 13th 3-D. When movies got to the bottom of the barrel of their creativity and at the last gasp of their financial lifespan, they did a 3-D version to get the last few drops of blood out of the turnip. And that’s not what’s happening now with 3-D. It is a renaissance—right now the biggest and the best films are being made in 3-D. Martin Scorsese is making a film in 3-D. Disney’s biggest film of the year—Tron: Legacy—is coming out in 3-D. So it’s a whole new ballgame."

Boom. Oh it's ON now. You really don't want to mess with people who make monster movies. They are generally a bit sick and twisted and you really don't want to be on their bad side. Oh James, making a movie about a sinking ship does not in any way make you an authority on what counts as original.... as you squeeze the last drops of blood out of the turnip that is Dances with Wolves, Pocahontas, or even the friggin Smurfs.

So really, when I read the open letter from Pirhana 3-D's Mark Canton, I stood up and cheered. This is a verbal smack down that made me tingle with happiness. Take that, James Cameron. I hope you take at least some of this to heart and recognize that there are other (killer) fishes swimming in the sea of moviemaking.

----

So readers, crack open a cold one and enjoy:

"As a producer in the entertainment industry, Jim Cameron's comments on VanityFair.com are very disappointing to me and the team that made Piranha 3D. Mr. Cameron, who singles himself out to be a visionary of movie-making, seems to have a small vision regarding any motion pictures that are not his own. It is amazing that in the movie-making process - which is certainly a team sport - that Cameron consistently celebrates himself out as though he is a team of one. His comments are ridiculous, self-serving and insulting to those of us who are not caught up in serving his ego and his rhetoric.

Jim, are you kidding or what? First of all, let’s start by you accepting the fact that you were the original director of PIRANHA 2 and you were fired. Shame on you for thinking that genre movies and the real maestros like Roger Corman and his collaborators are any less auteur or impactful in the history of cinema than you. Martin Scorcese made Boxcar Bertha at the beginning of his career. And Francis Ford Coppola made Dimentia 13 back in 1963. And those are just a few examples of the talented and successful filmmakers whose roots are in genre films. Who are you to impugn any genre film or its creators?

Having been deeply involved, as either an executive or as a producer, on Tim Burton’s original BATMAN and the first MEN IN BLACK, as well as 300, and now IMMORTALS, one of the things that has been consistent about all of the filmmakers involved in these landscape-changing global films is that, in each and every case, all of the directors were humbled by their predecessors, their colleagues and by their awareness of the great history of film that came before them. The enjoyment and the immersion of an audience in a movie theatre, as they had and will have with the above-mentioned films, and as audiences are experiencing with PIRNAHA 3D now, comes from the originality and the vision of the filmmaker, and not just from the creation of the technology. You as much as anyone certainly knows that there are many pieces to the puzzle. Going to the movies still remains, arguably, amongst the best communal experiences that human beings can share.

My sense is that Mr. Cameron has never seen PIRANHA 3D...certainly not in a movie theatre with a real audience. Jim, we invite you to take that opportunity and experience the movie in a theatre full of fans - fans for whom this movie was always intended to entertain. Does Mr. Cameron have no idea of the painstaking efforts made by the talented young filmmaker Alex Aja and his team of collaborators? Clearly, and this one is a good bet, he has no clue as to how great and how much of a fun-filled experience the audiences who have seen the film in 3D have enjoyed. Those of us who have tried to stay in touch with the common movie audiences - the ones who really matter, the ones who actually still go to the theatre, put on the glasses, and eat the popcorn - take joy and pride in the fact that movies of all kinds, including PIRANHA 3D, have a place in filmmaking history - past, present and future. 3D unto itself is not a genre Jim, it is a tool that gives audiences an enhanced experience as they experience all kinds of movies. I believe Mr. Cameron did not see PIRANHA 3D either with any real audience or not at all. On opening weekend, I was in a Los Angeles theatre with a number of today’s great film makers including JJ Abrams, who actually had nothing short of the fabulous, fun 3D experience thatthe movie provides. I am fortunate enough to have worked on, and continue to work on, evolutionary movies in all formats from just simple good story telling, which still matters most of all, to CG movies to tent-pole size 3D movies, and genre 3D movies like PIRANHA 3D. What it comes down to, Jim, is - that like most things in life - size doesn’t really matter. Not everyone has the advantage of having endless amounts of money to play in their sandbox and to take ten years using other people’s money to make and market a film….like you do. Why can’t you just count your blessings? Why do you have to drop Marty Scorsese’s or Tim Burton’s names, both gentlemen who I have personally worked with, and who have enjoyed great joy and success with movies of all genres and sizes well before the advent of modern 3D? Then as now, they were like kids in a candy store recognizing, far beyond your imagination, the possibilities of storytelling and originality.

For the record, before you just totally dismiss PIRANHA 3D and all, in your opinion, worthless genre movies that actually undoubtedly gave you the ability to start your career, you should know that PIRANHA 3D had an 82% "fresh" (positive) ratting on Rotten Tomatoes on opening day - a web site that all the studios, filmmakers and the public use as a barometer of what makes a quality film.

We know that PIRANHA 3D has not achieved a boxoffice that is on the level of many of Mr. Cameron's successes. To date, PIRANHA 3D has earned over $30 million around the globe with #1 openings in several countries. And, as the "fresh" rating on Rotten Tomatoes indicates, critics and many, many others have embraced and celebrated PIRANHA 3D for the fun and entertaining - and even smart - movie-going experience that it is.

Let’s just keep this in mind Jim….you did not invent 3D. You were fortunate that others inspired you to take it further. The simple truth is that I had nothing but good things to say about AVATAR and my own experience since I actually saw it and didn’t damn someone else’s talent publicly in order to disassociate myself from my origins in the business from which we are all very fortunate. To be honest, I found the 3D in AVATAR to be inconsistent and while ground breaking in many respects, sometimes I thought it overwhelmed the storytelling. Technology aside, I wish AVATAR had been more original in its storytelling.

We have to inspire, teach and mentor this next generation of filmmakers. It is garbage to suggest that any film or any filmmaker who cannot afford to work to your standards should be dissuaded from following his or her craft by not making 3D movies or not making movies like DISTRICT 9, for example, which probably cost the amount of AVATAR’s craft services budget, but totally rocked it in the movie theatre and in the marketplace. In that case, it was not a 3D movie. But had it been, it certainly would not have been any less original or impactful. The enormous worldwide success of AVATAR has been good in all respects for you, your financiers, your distributors and the industry, as well as for the movie going public. Jim, there is a difference between Maestro which is a word that garners respect, and Dictator or Critic which are words better left for others who are not in our mutual boat or on our team. You are one of the best, it is reasonable to think that you should dig deeper and behave like it. Young directors should be inspired by you, not publicly castigated by your mean-spirited and flawed analysis.

While we are all awed by your talents and your box office successes - and I compliment you on all of them - why don’t you rethink how you address films with which you are not involved? You should be taking the high road that is being travelled by so many of your peers, and pulling with them to ensure that we, as an industry, will have a continuum of talented filmmakers that will deliver a myriad of motionpictures both big and small, with 3D or any other technologies yet to come that will entertain audiences throughout the world. That is the challenge that we face. That is the future that we should deliver.

Please go see PIRANHA 3D in a theatre near you."

----

Mark Canton, I think I love you.